Where to Find Me
by Aurore Day
Summary: When I finally found him, he was drunk. Not that he wasn't most of the time anyways. But I hadn't seen him that way in a while. Not since three months ago. When I'd left. Adrian/Sydney


**Hey guys! **

**So I know a lot of my followers have been wondering about where I am and I'm going to update my profile, but I figured I better put it here as well. I've been kind of caught up in my senior year of high school, plus I've been consumed with this original story of mine. (I know, original, *gasp*). I know what happens for Rose (Weasley, lol), it just may be a while before all of it gets out. Right now, my original characters are kind of consuming my mind. They barely made room for this one-shot!**

**Soooo... This one-shot. The Vampire Academy series is totally a guilty pleasure of mine. And I was reading the first book of her spin-off series based on Sydney and I was speculating about the future and this came out... I like it... But I'm not really sure whether it's OOC. You know me, I never can tell with my own writing. But I figured I'd put it out there!**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy. I do not own Rose. I do not own either Rose, not even my Harry Potter Rose. I just... don't own.**

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When I finally found him, he was drunk. Not that he wasn't most of the time anyways. But I hadn't seen him that way in a while. Not since before three months ago. Before I'd left.

* * *

I thought after I was done watching over Jill, I'd be done with the Moroi and Dhampir, as much as I could be. I'd go back to being a normal Alchemist, living out the years of my life in foreign countries and keeping a wary eye out. Other than occasional visits from Rose, and perhaps Jill, I would fade out of their world and back into mine. After a few years of their kind being my most consistent company, I was looking forward to some quality time with humanity.

That was before Queen Valissa Dragomir spoke to the Alchemists about creating a new post, an ambassador that would go between the Moroi and the Alchemists. Laughingly, she called it an ambassador to humanity and I'd smiled and thought it was an excellent idea, even if it was unlikely to be taken well by our side, until she'd announced she wanted me for the position.

I was flattered, naturally, but assumed it would never come to pass. Until it did, and I was spending half my life at their Royal Court. I even had my own room. It had been surprisingly easy, if I disregarded my abhorrence for magic, to blend in, even befriend some of them. I saw Jill almost every day, often accompanied by Eddie. I spoke with Lissa, Rose and Dimitri often. And, of course, Adrian never left me alone for long.

_Green eyes flashed. "Don't be an idiot. You know how this works. And regardless of whatever romantic notions you have in your head, whatever you want can never happen."_

Sighing, I rested my head against the cool, glass window of the airplane and shook off the memory. I was heading back to Court for the first time after our confrontation and I needed to keep things rational, efficient, and in order. I had a lot to make up for after being missing for three months. Formerly, I'd traveled between the races every two weeks, but I'd made a few excuses about being uneasy around the Moroi and my family was more than happy to keep me for an extra month or two. I'd been in constant communion with Rose and Lissa to make sure things were in place, but it had finally come to the point where I couldn't stay away any longer. Lissa had sent her jet out for me and I'd gotten aboard.

The instant I was out of the plane, lanky arms are flung around my neck. I sneezed the soft brown hair out of my face, before hugging Jill back. "Hey, Jill. I guess you missed me?" Laughing, I pulled gently away, still not entirely comfortable from overt attention from a vampire.

"Well you missed out!" Sometimes I hated the fact that I have to look up to her, as I did then, with the sun backing her and making her pale green eyes stand out like the dragon her family was named after. "Eddie and I have been training non-stop and you wouldn't believe how good I'm getting. I actually hit him yesterday!"

She beamed with her achievement, and if I hadn't known how great of a fighter Eddie was, I wouldn't have understood this victory. "Congratulations." I smiled up at her, lips pressed tightly together. "Thanks for coming to be my welcoming committee. You didn't have to."

"Now you owe me and you _have_ to watch one of our matches and cheer for me the whole time!" Bubbly and animated, as she had been ever since she and Lissa began to get along and she began dating Eddie, she pulled me towards her boyfriend.

"Don't I always?" I reminded her, nodding at Eddie. He was much more relaxed since Lissa no longer needed Jill to keep her throne, but he was still a Guardian, and thus forever vigilant. "I have to go meet with the Queen and Rose first, though."

Jill's pulling didn't stop as she rolled her eyes. "Of course you do. I swear, you people. We'll drop you off there and you can meet with Eddie and I later." As we entered palace grounds, she was quickly swarmed by a mass of other teens her age and chats with them as we walked, Eddie and I dropping behind.

"She seems to be doing well," I remarked quietly to Eddie, hoping Jill's Moroi hearing wouldn't pick up on our conversation.

He smiled softly, looking fondly after her. "Yeah. After dealing with SoCal, she's really learned how to make friends, even if it's hard. Looking back, the whole experience was really good for her, I think."

Which was great, but not what I was really looking for. "The spirit bond... there have been no negative affects? I know Rose went through hell with it."

From the way Eddie winced, I could tell not all was right there. "She's getting good at blocking him out, but sometimes..." He trailed off and looked at me meaningfully. I avoided his gaze as I remembered-

_"I don't understand how you can be this naive! If you ever thought this was even possible, you're a fool!"_

Breathing in deeply, I shook my head. "But no assassinations, no bullies, no embarrassing tumbles down the stairs?" Jill had had one of those when she'd first moved back to Court and had refused to come out of her room for hours, she was so humiliated. It had become something of a joke between us.

Grinning, he grunted his assent. "Nope. Things are actually... ridiculously good. I keep thinking something's got to happen because it can't be this wonderful forever."

It was an endearing sentiment and a good way to end the conversation. We had arrived at the Queen's throne room and after a hug from Jill and a promise to pick me up after my meeting, they left. There was little fear in me as I reassumed the cool calm I wore as ambassador and entered the Queen's chambers.

Besides the guards flanking the room, there were four of them. Lissa, Rose, and their men, as I liked to say. Christian was scowling as he tried to master some new fire trick, but he dropped his magic as soon as I entered and greeted me with a stern assessing gaze. There was a flicker of a grin on Dimitri's face as touched Rose gently on the shoulder. "Your friend is here, Rosa."

Rose Hathaway, maker of destinies and shaker of the earth. At least, that's the impression most people got of her. I just saw beautiful, daring, crazy Rose who had dragged me halfway across the world and turned my life inside out. It was hard not to smile as she jumped out of her seat and grasped my hand with her customary warmth. "Sydney. It's good to have you back."

"Indeed." Lissa's regard was less overt, but her smile said just as much as Rose's more physical affection. "Come and sit, please. There's much we have to discuss."

Work was something I was good at, something that eased me. We chatted the first hour away, talking about any potential issues on either of our sides and discussing the idea of Alchemists living near dhampir communities, since those were becoming targets for Strigoi attention in the recent months. While there was less need for clean up with few humans around, Lissa worried that the word got out in communities as small as that to the couple of humans that were there and someone needed to do damage control. I argued for yearly evaluations instead; we didn't have enough Alchemists as it was, and although it was good to make sure isolated communities didn't spill the secret, there was no need for a permanent post. Besides, I was the only Alchemists that could seem to stand living with vampires for long periods of time. After lengthly debate, Lissa agreed to my terms and we shook hands on it. I would inform the Alchemists when I returned to them, in two weeks.

"Is all the boring stuff over?" Rose yawned and stretched, popping a bone in her back. I didn't think she'd ever paid enough attention to deem it boring. She and Dimitri had been whispering for most of our meeting.

Smiling indulgently, Lissa settled back in her chair, transforming once again from Queen to young adult. "Yes, Miss Short-Attention-Span. Now I believe you wanted to talk to Sydney about something?" she prodded gently, giving me an apologetic look. I had an idea of what Rose wanted to talk and that look didn't make me feel any better.

"Oh yeah." Tossing her brown hair back, Rose glared at me with more frustration than anything. "What the fuck did you do to Adrian?"

Straight and to the point as ever. I swallowed, lacing my hands together over my dark jeans. "I didn't do anything. Well - I might've... we had a bit of a disagreement, that's all." -

"_Why did you have to ruin it like this? It was fine before!"_ - "And we haven't talked since. Why?"

Pursing her lips, Rose stared me down, as if she suspected that wasn't the whole story. Finally, she gave in and explained. "It seemed like he was getting better, ya know? It's like he's fallen back into all his old habits. It's a good thing Jill's got it figured out now, but she can't always block him out and sometimes it hits her really bad. I've tried to shake it out of him but..."

I nodded my understanding. Rose's history with Adrian made it difficult for them to talk rationally about anything, despite the fact they both seemed to have moved on. "Why don't you just ask Jill? Shouldn't she know?"

Lissa and Rose exchanged a look before Rose answered. "Apparently, he's learned to keep her out, even drunk. Not fully. He just won't let her know about what's causing all this. All we know is that it started the day you left, so we figured..." Ruefully, she shrugged. "I guess not. You should go talk to him though. Maybe he'll listen to you. You two are friends, right?"

"Right," I answered weakly. Standing, I gave them both a stiff smile. "Look, I've got to go watch Jill's training session with Eddie, so-"

"Great!" Rose leapt to her feet, excited at the idea of any fighting. "We'll come with. Won't we Liss?"

"I don't see why not." Much more gracefully, Lissa stood. "It's been a while since you've showed me anything as well. I'm probably really rusty."

Rose grinned at her. "Yeah, I bet you are. Christian could probably beat you, and well... that's saying something."

"Hey!" Christian started and I tuned out their bickering as we walked. The Royal Moroi Court had always been beautiful, so beautiful that I sometimes forgot vampires lived there.

In the practice rooms, Eddie was already drilling Jill on some new technique. It was a secret love of mine to watch them, because it never showed more how much they cared for each other. Even as they fought, there was a reassurance in their eyes, broadcast to the other. Showing that they didn't want to hurt, that this was just a game, that they loved each other. Leaning against the wall and shouting encouragement to Jill, I smiled at their effortless dance around each other.

Suddenly, Jill stumbled, tumbling to the ground in the middle of a formerly flawless technique. Immediately concerned, I rushed towards her, even as Eddie was helping her sit up. "It's fine, it's fine," she said as we crowded around her, trying to grin it off. "Just, um, Adrian's kind of smashed right now. Got in through my barriers for a second."

"That son of a-" Rose was already on a warpath, cracking her knuckles and pacing. "I told him to stop with this shit, but here he goes again and-"

"Rose, calm down." Lissa eyed me as I kept my eyes trained on the ground. "We can go talk to him again tomorrow. Right now, just let it go. It won't do any good trying to reason with him in this kind of mood."

_Smashed glass on the floor, both of our tempers raging. His messy dark hair. "God damn it! After everything we've been through, you just had to do this! What part of not possible don't you understand?"_

Abruptly, I stood. "Um, I'm kind of tired from my flight. I'm going to go to sleep, if you don't mind."

"Not at all." The Queen smiled. "Join us for breakfast tomorrow Sydney. There's still a lot we have to talk about."

"Right." I executed a polite bow - she was the Queen, after all- and headed out. As soon as I was sure I wasn't being followed, I changed direction, no longer heading for my assigned rooms. Instead, I went to the bar.

When I found him, he was drunk. Not that he wasn't most of the time anyways. But I hadn't seen him that way in a while. And he hadn't been for a while. Not since before three months ago. Before I'd left.

Martini in hand, he didn't even acknowledge me as he stared out at the masses of dancing Moroi and Dhampir. He took a long drag from his cigarette, and then blew out the smoke, speaking as he did. "We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once."

From the sing-song tone, I could tell it was not his own words. It took a second to place the quote. Cautiously, I eased onto the stool beside him. "Friedrich Nietzsche?"

"You would know." He sipped at his drink again before hollering to the bartender from another glass. "You've also wasted a lot more days than I have. Think of all the dancing you'll have to do to make it up."

When he was drunk, Adrian's sarcasm either got biting or nonsensical. I was glad it was leaning towards the latter. "I'm not big on dancing. And I wouldn't recommend you trying tonight either. You look about to keel over." Leaning over, I snatched the cigarette out of his sluggish fingers. "You really should stop smoking these. They're going to kill you."

"Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs," he retorted, and I wondered how much literature he was going to quote at me before he passed out. "Not that you would know." Suddenly his sea green gaze was fixed on me with a bitterness I'd never wanted to put there. "At least Romeo and Juliet _tried_."

"And died," I reminded him, keeping my hands on the bar so I wouldn't run my fingers through his hair. Seeing that I was getting nowhere, I sighed. "Adrian," I said softly. "I know I was harsh about it, but you have to see-"

"Harsh?" He laughed, and I noticed with dismay the spirit-tinged hysteria. "You called me an idiot, naive, and a fool. You stopped on my 'romantic ideals' and utterly ignored any feelings I had because it 'wasn't possible'. Worse, you continually said you wanted to forget the whole thing." His disdain was palpable as he accepted his new martini from the bartender and threw it back. Once he was done, he turned his glassy eyes back to me. "Sage, you were beyond harsh."

This was going to be harder than I thought. "Maybe," I assented reluctantly. "But still, that doesn't give you leave to go off and make a fool out of yourself by drinking yourself silly and screwing around. Did you even consider Jill? Just because she's better at blocking you out now doesn't mean it's okay for her. And what about all the things you wanted to do? I thought-"

"What I wanted?" He laughd again, louder this time, drawing the attention of the surrounding people. I readied myself to drag him out of the bar if I had to. "What I wanted was to, for once, fall in love with a girl and have it be easy. No Strigoi ex-boyfriend's that are going to magically become dhampirs again and sweep her off her feet. No complicated history or issues. Someone that could be steady for me, be there for me. And hot too, obviously. But no. I have to fall head over heels for some human that won't even try because it's simply 'not possible.'"

"What did you think I was going to say?" My throat was tight and I tried to speak around the lump in it. "Our feelings don't change anything. A relationship between a Moroi and human is wrong, Alchemist or not. We talked about this, back with Micah and Jill. We agreed that this was not a viable option."

With a surge of movement, I didn't think he was capable of in his state, he swings his stool around to face me dead on, hissing with anger. "Micah and Jill are not you and me, Sage! That's totally different. He didn't know, it couldn't last, they were too young. But you know. You practically live here. We could just try, there are plenty of bizarre relationships around here. Christian and Lissa, Rose and Dimitri, all of those are supposedly not socially okay but look at them-"

"That's different than being a different species, Adrian!" I burst out and lost some of my restraint. I took his hands between mine. "Do you realize what would happen? Your family might be fine with it, for a while, but as soon as they realize its something that's going to last, they'll cast you out. I'll be expelled from the Alchemists, I'll have to live here full time. I'm human, Adrian, and not a feeder. I can't _do_ that!"

I recognized the feel of us going in circles, and he did to because he pulled out another cigarette and lit it. "I even would've done the fucking cleaning, you know. If you'd said yes."

Relieved at his return of humor, I snort. "Sure you would've. And cleaned the tile with pine cleanser."

His lips twitched at the reminder of his early mistakes. "So, it's a no. No to anything. No to even a secret thing."

I looked at his profile, the proud jaw, high cheekbones, sweeping hair. And sighed. "Maybe secret."

He nearly dropped his cigarette as he twisted to look at me, sea green eyes wide. "Sage, are you fucking with me? 'Cause I swear, that's not funny."

Running a hand through the choppy layers in my hair, I looked to the side. "That's not exactly the thing I'd joke about." Seeing his hopefully expression in the corner of my eye made my stomach twist into delightfully knots. Could I do this? I wasn't sure. "Look, I'm confused and I'm tired and I want you to know that regardless what we decide-" It was hard for me to say the next part "-I have feelings for you too. Let me sleep on it."

I brushed a hand across his cheek before I could stop myself and he caught it and pressed a butterfly kiss to my palm. "Think on it, Sage." And he put the martini glass down. "And when you've figured it out... you know where to find me."

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**I hope you all enjoyed! Please REVIEW and thank you for reading.**

**I love you all!**


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